Bein Adam Lchavero

Bein Adam Lchavairo is a blog dealing with interpersonal relations within the Jewish community and the interactions of the Jewish and Gentile worlds. We're new. Be gentle.

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Would we make a Shidduch with anyone from the Torah?

More food for thought from the email.

Background: In the past few years, the questions that have been asked about prospective matches have gotten to be ridiculous, and some of the reasons for rejection could be considered lunacy. In that vein, what if a girl was set-up with one of a number of Biblical figures?

There's Avrohom Avinu (Abraham):
He seems to be frum but really he's a BT and his father made idols, not our

Yitzchak Avinu (Isaac):
Well his grandfather made idols, there was all that nastiness with Lot and his half brother is an Arab.

Yaakov Avinu (Jacob):
His great-grandfather made idols, his brother went off the derech, his mother comes from a very treyfe family and he wasn't shomer negiah with Rachel Imeinu before they were married and he spent a lot of time with his uncle, who's mammesh a rasha.

Yosef HaTzaddik (Josef):
His mother had an idol once and she died early, plus he's a slave and his brothers don't like him, must be something in that and with all the issues with Avraham Avinu and Yitzchak and Yaakov Avinu...better not to.

Moshe Rabbeinu (Moses):
Oy, what a maaseh!!!! His parents separated, then they got back together, his parents abandoned him, put him in a basket, he was raised by goyim...not our kind for sure. He may be close to HaShem but his background is so problematic we wouldn't want him in our family!

Dovid HaMelech (King David):
Descendants from a Geyoret, not our kind of people. Sure a few generations have gone by but all things being equal shouldn't we look for someone with more Jewish background?

Shlomo HaMelech (King Solomon):
See above, and his mother's marriage was very dubious, he is rich though but the Yichus and family background is very tricky.

Perhaps people need to just relax and look at the person they are dealing with (in all walks of life) and stop worrying about insignificancies.

Shidduch = match (in this context, for marriage)
frum = religious
BT = Ba'al Teshuva; one who was not religious and became religious
derech = lit. path; to "go off the derech" is to become non-religious
treyfe = not "kosher"
shomer negiah = the laws regarding men touching women
"mammesh a rasha" = bad dude
maaseh = story
goyim = lit. nations; non-Jews
HaShem = G-D
geyoret = female convert
Yichus = family background