Why I'm Still on the Internet.

So lately there's been a Machloket about the amount of good the internet does. Does the potential for Mitzvot outweigh the potential Motzie Shem Ra, Loshon H'Rah, Sinat Chinam and plain old Chilul HaShem? Or should we banish it from our homes, removing the stumbling block from our blind selves?

it's something I've been thinking about a lot lately. You see, I post on a forum. I've posted there for almost a decade now. It's a great place. I've made good friends. lately, however, I've started feeling like I don't belong. There'd just been such a shift in mood. One of my best friends (on or off) left and there've been other problems.

Well today, out of the blue, someone posted this in response to my commenting that I'd been posting less because I was contemplating things:

Well, get the hell out of your belly button and post more!

You know, almost every time we head down to our favorite tavern in Little 5 Points, and I see the Broadway Cafe and the Synagogue (sp?), I think of you, and smile. Sometimes I wonder if the people in either place would have horrors with you being friends with me (*gasp! Pagan*), or if they'd smile too. But I always think of how much you've taught me about your life and your faith, and what a good person you are---and it just makes me smile.

Someday you and [wife] and [child] will make it down to Atlanta, and [her hubby] and [her child] and I are going to take you out to that cafe to eat while you're here. Aside from the fact that it's kosher, according to [her hubby] it's very *good* kosher.

I was touched enough I responded:

This morning I saw the following post

It made me smile. Not just because it kind of stroked my ego (I freely admit that), but because it reminded me of the fun conversations I’ve had here. About how thanks to [forum's name], I have friends who are Christian, Pagan, Bhudist, Muslim, Athiest and Agnostic. That I have made friends with people of a dozen races and several countries. That I’ve learned more about other lifestyles than I thought possible.

Thank you [poster], for helping me remember that. I think I’ll stick around

So at this point I'm feeling a warm glow and realizing that I'm still on the internet because there are nice people, right? Nothing deeper than that.

Then came her response:

I am REALLY glad you decided to stay (didn't even know you were debating going, or I would've said a lot MORE in that post!). Whenever I see your name on a post, I eagerly look into it, because I always love reading what you have to say: funny, serious, cranky, happy, sad, thoughtful, informative---I never know what's gonna be in it, but I ALWAYS know it's worth reading. To me, you are one of the people who make [forum's name] what it is, and gives it that special flavor---the one that reaches beyond the forums to affect people in their "real" lives, and in their hearts and minds.

I grew up in an area with almost no Jews. The ones I did know, or have met since, never talked much about their lives and faith, and it just happened that none of us were ever in circumstances to become close friends---interests didn't match up or whatever. Likely, many of them I never even *knew* that they were Jewish, because I've not met a lot of Jews who speak much about their faith---usually how I'd find out would be either someone else would tell me, or they'd mention something like a holy day or "temple". I can understand why, on many levels, many Jewish people don't say much about their religion (years of persecution can do that, but also, Judaism doesn't seem to be a "proseltyzing" religion---and those that are tend to talk about religion a lot more than those who don't. Kinda refreshing, in that sense. ).

YOU, with your simple talk of your daily life (which is very bound up in your faith), and being so willing and happy to answer questions about your faith---and just plain being a good, kind man---have given me an opportunity I likely would not otherwise have had in my life, to learn so much, and in such a sweet way. As you've said before, there certainly are Jews out there who can be just as exclusive, snobbish, and/or self-righteous in their faith as anyone in any other faith---so while you certainly aren't *every* Jew to me, you are a FINE representative of your faith, to me (and of any faith, in terms of "follow with a sense of humility and compassion"). You LIVE your faith, as best you are able, and stand up and take responsibility and seek forgiveness when you feel you have failed that faith in some way, in how you act or think or live. Your biggest flaw is that you tend to have a harder time *granting* that forgiveness to YOURSELF---I'll bet your rabbi would say the same. You don't give yourself enough credit for the good you do and are, and won't let go quick enough after true contrition for fault and flaw recognition and resolve to try to do better. It's something you don't do to other Jews or other people---just yourself.

Many of us fear becoming "cocky", or appearing that way, in taking credit for the good we do... and sometimes that leads to *undervaluing* it. Yet to be as fair to yourself as you are to others, that's something you need to work on.

In all, I can't tell you just how much warmth, knowledge, understanding, and "fellow-feeling" with your faith, that you've given me. I'm not Jewish, I don't want to be Jewish (because I'm happy in my own faith), but I never knew till you came along just how many ways I feel a concordance with many of the Jewish philosophies. A sense of "philosophical kinship," if you will.

I know I've spoken about your faith a lot in this, but it's because you and your religion are inseparable. It's a template over your entire life and self, which you harmonize with while still being completely yourself---basically, it's a part of you, and you of it.

Bottom line is, I am VERY glad you aren't leaving. I don't want to lose touch with my very dear friend, nor do I want to feel the absense of your posting here.

(And do me a favor: print this out, and show it to your Dad. There are several things you've mentioned, over time, that make me respect your Dad (and Granddad) very much---but it's not just things you've said about them; it's also that they (along with the ladies in question) did such a fine job of raising YOU.)

Emphasis mine, by the way.

Basically, without trying, I've managed to do a Kiddush HaShem and honor my father and mother. That's without consciously trying, mind you.

Imagine the other Mitzvot the internet can be used for, if we actually try.

My name is Typo Lad, and I'm a Jewish Internet user. And proud of it.