Can vs Should.
Okay, here's an odd idea: Just because something is okay legally doesn't mean it's always okay ethically. It works vice versa as well. Can does not equal should.
What's a good example, you ask?
Corporal Punishment.
It's perfectly acceptable, Min hatorah, for a parent to spank or otherwise strike their child. That is not, however, a license to do it. It does not mean children are their parent's own personal punching bags. It just means that sometimes, you may need to patch some tush. If you have to, don't guilt that you broke halacha.
Now, if you want to guilt because it was utterly unwarranted for what your kid did or because you're worried that you did it out of anger instead of punishment (big dif) go to town. If you don't worry about those things, then frankly, you might be a bit of a poor parent. I'm just stating my own opinion, of course.
What brings this up? Nothing much. Just seeking a mother in the Port Authority smacking her toddler upside the head for not moving fast enough. I wanted to say "How would you like it if I hit you like that?". It was only by thinking the above that I was able to restrain myself. I still wonder if I should have.
I'm not anti patching. Really. I was patched once by my father and boy did I ever deserve it. I had one Rebbe lay a hand on me and aside from the fact that I hit him back (long story) the school almost killed him for it. Even though he was technically within his halachik rights.
Just because he could didn't mean he should have.
And so we come full circle.
Okay, here's an odd idea: Just because something is okay legally doesn't mean it's always okay ethically. It works vice versa as well. Can does not equal should.
What's a good example, you ask?
Corporal Punishment.
It's perfectly acceptable, Min hatorah, for a parent to spank or otherwise strike their child. That is not, however, a license to do it. It does not mean children are their parent's own personal punching bags. It just means that sometimes, you may need to patch some tush. If you have to, don't guilt that you broke halacha.
Now, if you want to guilt because it was utterly unwarranted for what your kid did or because you're worried that you did it out of anger instead of punishment (big dif) go to town. If you don't worry about those things, then frankly, you might be a bit of a poor parent. I'm just stating my own opinion, of course.
What brings this up? Nothing much. Just seeking a mother in the Port Authority smacking her toddler upside the head for not moving fast enough. I wanted to say "How would you like it if I hit you like that?". It was only by thinking the above that I was able to restrain myself. I still wonder if I should have.
I'm not anti patching. Really. I was patched once by my father and boy did I ever deserve it. I had one Rebbe lay a hand on me and aside from the fact that I hit him back (long story) the school almost killed him for it. Even though he was technically within his halachik rights.
Just because he could didn't mean he should have.
And so we come full circle.
posted by - Typo Lad | 2:04 PM
2 Comments:
As a child who was spanked often for misdeeds, and as a parent (of a 3 and 1 year old) who has not yet found an occasion that warranted a spank - I'll come out against spanking.
There is only one case where I can see a spanking being useful; if the child is doing something dangerous and in the moment you see the only way to protect the child is to stun him by laying of hands.
In every other case that I've experienced there is a better and more effective way to educate than by hitting.
I'd be curious on hearing how the hitting back happend. I yelled at a rebbe once, also a long story. But never been smacked by one. If I had, he'd have come out in far worse shape than I.
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